If I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take.

they say in death, all lifes questions are answered.
I realized.... all my questions have the word why in them.
...If I was to die, I would spend eternity asking questions. its just the way I am.

There has been four times in my life when I just wanted to lay down and die.I felt like I had finally given up, like I honestly would have just killed myself on the spot if I could.

I just wanted my questions answer, mostly the main one I would have asked first.......

"why me?"

I have always wanted to know that. and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that I deem possible. most of the time it was the normal, everything happens for a reason. Then I ask myself, what reason is that? .....

I am tired of never getting an answer that will really explain why.

see there it is the word why.

I heard a commercial on the radio today, this little kid was asking his dad why the sun was in the sky and he would answer his question then ask WHY? and then he would give his answer and the kid would ask WHY? once again...and this went on till he couldnt answer anymore. and he said I dont know. ....the little kid asked WHY...not?

my dad told me that he remembers when we used to be like that, he said he liked it better that way.

my response was.... because now we know just as much or more then he does.
but what myself and a lot of other young adult dont get is that we are much like that little kid. but our questions arent about the sun or anything like that, they are now about the big questions in life, the ones that our parents cant answer. no one can.

I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven

theres one thing I do know, that I love you enough to do that for you.

I will always love you. even if you dont love me.