road to happiness!

Finally my life is turning around for the better, I have to friends, and soon I will have the girl (:

its been a while since I blogged I feel so out of it now :P, I always saw blogging as a way of getting my anger out but now that that part of my life is over I didnt feel like blogging cuz nothing was bothering me :P

well anyways, I hate my inablity to ask a girl out :P, I think I need to like practice in the mirror or something :P....well I know I will have to ask her sooner or later ...hopefully sooner rather then later -__-

well anyways, I discovered two guys that make cover songs and there own songs that deserve to be famous or at least know...but not mainstream that will just ruin there music like how alot of other music is being ruined by mainstream-ness :P

well I gots to go cook and practice what im gonna say in the mirror :P

woah!

wow I watched wall-e like 2 weeks ago and Im still saying woah! to everything :P

this summer has been like...woah! its had its great times and its this sucks times, but now that sumthing has ended and neither one of us won, were both gonna have to just move on from this with what we have left.

music is always my best way of expressing myself, and now that I have my own band ima write songs all abou this "issue" and hopefully one day it will help ppls throught there own problems

to each is his own, bye bye

life has been....

pretty funominal recently, I have been able to....just be free and not worrie about anything.
just like how our parents think our lifes are so perfect and that theres nothing that can get in the way of us living perfect little lifes. but I realized that is exactly the way we should be living our lifes, especially when we are this young. we shouldnt be worried about losing friends or trying to get new ones and stuff like that, we should just be content with being young and free. so all i have to say to everyone is "BE FREE, BE HAPPY"

well anyways I recently found an artist that I really like, his name is michael franti and he preforms with a band called spearhead. this is one step closer to you by michael franti. if your reading this ....this might be for you....to let you know how i felt

I've been down for far too long
'Til my faith was nearly gone
I never knew somebody just like you
Could be a friend I could call my own

'Til I let go of a broken heart
I let go to an open heart
I let go of my broken dreams
I let go to the mystery
And I believe in the miracles
I believe in the spiritual
I believe in the one above
I believe in the one I love


well I rather enjoy tulips in the spring time so ima go find sum :) bye bye

wait and see by iration

is an addicting song. I have been listening to it all day and im listening to as I am writing this blog.

well I just realized I havent blogged in a while. and its cuz I havent had to let my emotions of how I felt after sumthing cuz I stopped talking to sumone for a while :P

but now I am finding myself talking to the same person again and It was going good....til the same problem arised and everything went back to how it was b4 and now we went from being good friends to right where we were b4 :P....I acctually kinda enjoyed the time where i didnt talk to her. but yet I did miss her but I know she didnt cuz she replaced me with my friends....and yet she will never realize that It will take all of them to replace one of me. that might sound concided but its true. and until she notices that she will never realize how good of a friend I was to her.

well ima go listen to that song again so adios peoples

Bonfire :)

yesterday was pretty fun ...bonfire at the beach with a bunch of friends ...chris swisher that he found in his car smelled really good but tasted like crapy grape applesause :P

my hairs gonna smell like ash for a while

well ima go have fun so adios

Why?!?

why do I keep causing myself more and more harm?
can anyone answer that question?

I GIVE UP

you know I seriously never though I would do this

but I think its the about time I let go

another day another...

fight :P great isnt it the best thing in the world
and you will never understand
well idk what to do so yeah
have fun

I think I did the right thing

...for once in my life I gave up. im kinda glad its over
no more constant fighting, now I dont hold things back cuz im worried it might make things worse. cuz right now I could really careless about what ever you do. cuz I tryed and gave up.
and the worse thing about this is. Im still trying to make things better.and I have no clue why.

no matter how much I try I dont think I will ever forget her. cuz yeah I loved her and I dont know if I do anymore.

im out

I broke my wrist

so im not gonna be able to blog in depth for a while :(

when Life gives your lemons you make lemonade....when life slaps you and tell you no you?....reach out and grab life and dont let go. never give up. lifes to short to say what if?

...I need to get away. but I have no where to go. I used to be able to go to church cuz none of my life problems could reach me there but now I cant even go there :P (sum ppls just need to leave me alone and find there own ways to solve issues cuz that was mines first) and I cant get away to baseball. or anything else. I need to find a new outlet, fast. Idk how much longer I can keep things in for.

this weekends mothers day!!! lol i need to make my mom sumthing :P , I need a job so I can buy her sumthing.

driving is fun especially when you get to drive in the country and take a secret back road that takes you from one side to the other :) it was kools. I wish I lived there...kinda , there rules are too stricked.

I have very strange taste in music. I randomly started singing where is the love yesterday in math class lol. and now i cant stop listening to that song. well it is a good song and I have memorized almost every line lol....i need to get out more... but its all good

ima go listen to music

peaceoutbra

life sucks

my life sucks right now. thats all I want to say.

lifes like an elevator, it has its ups and downs

right now I feel like my life has been going down in a giant spiral and I dont know when Im gonna hit the bottom or if im even close to it. I wish I could leave EVERYTHING and EVERYONE behind and Go. cuz im tired of sunsets I want to see a sunrise. feel cold water on me feet instaid of hot. go to a beach and not go and swim. live in a city full of exicting stuff. spend time with random ppls I dont know but have memorys that ill never forget. live my life to fullest in a big city. and just go and walk around for fun and look at all the big buildings (it really puts life in persective). I have always wanted to ride in a taxi or the subway and ride in an elevator for more then like 1 min. I just wanna start over and do things the way I should have so I would have had to go through what I went through.

I was just freestyle singing a song earlyer that acctualy sounds good....sad but good. I wish I had written it down. It really put the ways I was thinking into perspective.

as I sit here now writting this blog I wish I could just stop time and make everything right. but I cant and I know that. I have always asked myself why me? why did God have to tell me what I was suposed to do on this earth when I wasnt ready? and I said yes to him. this is the hardest job I have ever had to do. and It puts me through the hardest things in the world but yet I had a choice and I said yes and I dont regret it. I have to make up for lost time. were instaid of going out and being with my friends I could have been sumwhere else and God would have given me this same job. but he did die for me, so I guess it could be worse. but still why me?

I was listening to boston by Augustana. thats where I got the idea to leave to a city. but theres also the part about leaving everyone too. "cuz you dont know me and you dont even care" is a line from that song. thats why I would leave if I could. cuz ppls dont know me and most of them dont really care anymore. when all I have ever done is care, and try and get to know ppls. and Im beginning to realize that I made a mistake and I should have....ended when I had the chance and I ask myself everyday that it gets worse why I let it back in? when I shouldnt have :P I hadto say that I missed you but I didnt. when I should have let go then. It would have made my life so much easyer. cuz i didnt even think about it then. I was going my own way again. and now I let it back in and now it worse then ever. fighting constantly can kill sumone on the inside or it might not even effect them at all. to me its those dumb discions like that which cause the most harm. when you are about to let go and you cant, when i should have let it slip I reached out and grab you.

yay!! everything is alright is on :D I love Motion City Soundtrack. there song always cheers me up when ever im sad. so I think from this point (.) on my blog is gonna be happy instaid of the sadness.

lol I just thought about a picture jackie took that was a chain over a water valve that looked really cool and then she was like it would be the ultimate album cover. I said the band name should be chains and water valves lol. and the songs should be about fixing water valves and chainin things together hahah. good times good time. life was so much easier at that moment. I need to find that thing that makes me happy again.

I really dont know what it is but ima look for it. wow this playlist is really good. apple genius is a good playlist maker. and all you have to do is push a button, its that easy like kaboom hahahah. stupid jaboody dubs, im never gonna look at billy mays commercials the same again. and probably gonna laugh everytime I do.

well im hungry ima go see what we have to eat

im out

am I wasting my time?......listen=learning

some people can probably go there whole life and not realize what sum one is telling you. personally it just pisses me off. its worse then talking to a wall cuz at least you can tell that the wall isnt listening. if your one of thoses people that dont listen and dont remember ask your self why you dont listen/remember? you probably wont be able to answer or maybe you just dont want to. this is why I always remember and always listen cuz you never know if what this person is telling you can effect your life or maybe even sumone else's. well the main point is just listen and learn. and dont make sumone waste there time when they think there doing sumthing good.

what is happiness? I saw that commercial for san diego again today and it said the road to happiness leads to san diego. but were does it really lead to? I wish I knew I would be there faster then it would take to write a blog about finding happiness. but is there a differents between finding happiness and being happy? I dont think so cuz when you find happiness your happy right? but I havent found happiness and im happy kinda. I wanna just leave now and go on a big sure for happiness. If will smith could find it in the movie why cant I ?!?!

I think my life need a big change but idk. I want a change but i dont know what? maybe me not playing baseball for a while would be a good thing but idk cuz im gonna start playing on the 23 of this month I think. well thats when I could play at the earlyist. but i really dont know. I just want sumthing new and to get rid of sumthing old. well theres nothing really I can do other then let life be life and just see what happens.
wow that last line went against a major thing that i believe in. like if you really want sumthing in life you need to and get it....

I need to stop myself there. I could probably go off on morals for like a year. well probably most of the year. but yeah if I could I would try and spread my word to every one in the world and I would hope that they would listen and learn

well i think i got my point across but yeah
im out

music is a way of life

wow for sum reason recently I have found myself listening to one band over and over again and today its been valencia not many ppls know about them but they have sum good songs. but I just realized that all there songs are about the kinda the samething. I think the guy that writes all there songs probably had a lot bad relationships or had a girl live him or sumthing. cuz like all there songs are about sumthing like that and how there lifes suck with out this person or that if he could anywere it would be to her. you stuff like that.

but all this makes me think about my life and whatnot. and how ppls dont appricate what they have til its gone. thats why I try to be a nice person cuz you never know how ur gonna regret not meeting. but im just let go and let God and hope things work out.

my computer has been acting really strange recently. like more strange then normal. I want a new one. Im gonna try and get my dad to get me a new one for my confirmation gift cuz they didnt get me anything :P

Idk what to do with my life right now. I want skool to be over already so i could get away and just out and do whatever i want with out any one else telling me what i can and cant do. and get to sleep in til like 10 after summer school ends. but right now i kinda like not playing baseball but I do miss it alot.

well i got to go take a shower
so go listen to sum valencia songs and im out
peacebewithyou

CONFIRMATION

I got confirmed today. I am offically a MAN!!!!.....in the church

well first off before I talk about today lets go over yesterday.
1. school was okays didnt really do anything other then in math class
2.filmed for my spanish project Its gonna be so funnay and stupid
3.went to target,then to go pick up my sis then home
4. fell asleep
5.woke up
6.talk to amanda
7.went back to sleep
and that was my day

okays today
1. I GOT CONFIRMED :D
2.went to lunch at BJ's with my fam
3.drove home
4.fell asleep til like 5 sumthing I think
5.talk to amanda
6 wanted to write a blog
7.writting a blog
now im gonna go over things that I think im gonna do
1. watch the fight tonight GO ricky the hitman HATTON .... paciquio is gonna lose
2. watch hatton beat the filipino pride out of paciquio
3. win sum money from my uncle who hates rooting for the person everyone else is rooting for
4. go home
5. sleep
6. go to youth group and ask everyone how the fight went :D


well thats my plan for today and part of tomarrow

I have recently found a new love for snow patrol. ever since I barrowed marcos CD I have started loving there music. there lyrics are like yeah and you can relate to everything they write about most of the time. idk there songs are just addicting.

I am beginning to think that my life is starting to settle down again. but idk if its a good thing cuz like sum ppls say "its always calm before the storm". well personally I think those ppls r insane and dont like to relax and always want sumthing happening in there life. I like having a calm life. im not saying that a lil action/drama or sumthing is bad just I dont want my whole to be a lie or a sham.

well Im gonna go watch the fight I think :P
peacebewithyou


P.S. YUP YUP YUP :D

Lame movies make you realize how much better your life is

today was....normal I think. I finally fell like everything is back to normal :P
I dont think im write about much but I dont know

I havent even started reading ferinhight 451 and I already have no idea whats going on. I hate reading. well other then english all my other classes went pretty smoothly today.

until open house. I think MAC hates me. He told my dad I could have an A in his class and now if I dont get an A im gonna be grounded for having a B+ what the hell!!! I still think landis is a NAZI he told my dad that went to germany for classes in college while I had to sit there and listen to them talk. Lin was okays they just talked about my sister mostly so I was off the hook. I tryed to avoid my other classes cuz I have bad grades in both of them :P and chalew was acctually gonna make me do sum kinda work on open house.

well tomarrow looks like its gonna be fun. its minimum day, were testing the towers in MAC, and im gonna go record my spanish project after skool. then ima go home and I really dont know about after that so yeah.

I think thats it for today....wow I just realized this blog has nothing to do with the title.
peacebewithyou

when life gives you lemons you....?

hmmm today was my first day back at skool since last friday it was kinda wierd but I missed most of my first 4 classes cuz I was making up CST testing :P I did what took most the rest off the skool about 6 hours in lest then 4. english and math(I hate reading).

well idk life still doesnt seem back to normal yet. It feels like theres still sumthing wrong. but I really dont know and dont really care anymore. Im just let things play out and see what happens hopefully God has good things in store for me.

after skool was kinda wierd and not normal. I got a ride home from chris. we had sum strange converstations in his car. but hes acctually a good drive he might go a lil bit to fast but hes still a good driver. ooo and we went to in n out but all i got was fries and a drink(I didnt have anymoney).

I have lost like so many pounds just from being sick :P Im down to like 141 I cant even remember the last time I weighed that much. but I lost a lot of muscles...not that I ever had that much to begin with :P well I think if I keep doing sit up and try and do pushups (tendonitis can use right arm) I think I could probably get into good shape...i think.

I really miss not playing baseball. It kinda sucks have to watch baseball on TV knowing that you cant play cuz of your arm :P well I did bat to day and It felt so good. even if I went to my game just to bat I would be happy but I cant. Its kinda hard to not play baseball when your whole life used to revolve around the sport. I used to have plan my weekend around baseball but now I have nothing to do :P but then now I have more free time and more time to go to church and do stuff with SLYM :D

well Ima just go listen to music and chill then go take a shower then go to bed.
peace be with you

TOnight

I will never forget tonight.

my last class of confirmation and one of the most touching.
I feel like that was the class that I need to change me back.

idk if ur every gonna read this but IM SORRY :( i acted like a jerk and i shouldnt have
you deserve better then me. I was wrong for thinking what I was thinking when I got mad. I was stupid for being so selfcenter like that. idk if I can tell why I get mad yet and I hope I dont have to. cuz the truth is that im nothing without you and I think without you I would never get better. like you said that one night me helping you helps me :D. and I hope you will always be there for me to help.

well the truth is that I brought you this far in your religion and everytime you really had fun with God. I wasnt there. and I wouldnt except it. so I tryed to fight it and I was wrong to. I finally see it now. that even though I lead you all the way there You stepped up and went away from me and embrased God without me. and it made me mad that I couldnt be there with you.


the whole reason Im saying this is cuz of the medition I went though in my class today. It was about a guy that got into a fight with GOD/a girl. and that guy realized he was nothing with out God there by his side. and it the end he went running to God realizing he made the biggest mistake in his life by leaving God. and I didnt want to make the same mistake.


I hope the right person reads this.

peace be with you

Thinking, just thinking

Im beginning to think staying home from school a second day is a good thing. Im still sick, I need this time away to think, and im helping my mom clean. the main thing im getting from be home and not at skool is getting to think. thats all I have been doing is thinking. not just about one thing but everything.

I think I am realizing that I havent lost you and I dont think I will cuz no matter how bad the fight/argument got I couldnt get mad at you. I couldnt get mad at you sumthing inside of me stopped me and calmed me down. you know I was thinking of that question my sister asked me and I think we would still be together. cuz even though we might fight and agrue and disagree sumtimes in the end everything is alright...I think. well I hope that in the end things work out between us cuz I hate fighting it kills me inside a lil everytime we do.

bootleg movies make a not so funnay movie funnay as hell. yesterday i saw observe and report. it was an okay movie could have been funnier. but what really made it funnay was the ppls that you can hear talking and laughing. and the guys cell fone conversation. I think all those made was funnier then the movie itself.

well I need to go clean my room :P
peace out

SICK

Im home sick today :( my throat was killing me this morning and I was coffing like crazy last night.

I have been thinking alot about what happend last night and idk what im gonna do. This just happend to fast for me to do anything good about and I just snapped and flipped out. but I think I have changed idk I dont feel the same. Im just worried at its to late ant that I might have already lost you. I kinda saw this coming last time we really talked about this. I knew that sumthing was wrong and from that moment on I knew things could never be the same. I tryed so hard to fight it but I cant stop what I already know is gonna happen.

I dont even know if I can do anything anymore cuz everything I do, see, and hear reminds me of you. I need to find a whole to hide in and never come out of :P

Im worried that in a couple of years im gonna look back on this and wonder if im doing the right thing. cuz right now I dont think I am.



yesterday I listened to a tupac song(keep ya head up). now I have always been a tupac fan ever since the first time I heard his songs. he is one of the few rappers that I like. cuz to me he is rapping about stuff that we can all relate to. unlike other rappers rapping about crap like money and girls all those rappers are doing is making this world a bad place to live. like what tupac says "what happend to all the marvin gays that used to sing to me making me feel like black was the thing to be" (im not black) but I can still relate to this. tupac went out there and showed everyone that they werent alone. everyones familys fight, no ones perfect. I have always wondered what the world would be like if people like tupac were still alive. but I think God has taken him from us for a reason. cuz we never know what we got til its gone.

I think this is good for now
peace be with you


R.I.P. tupac shakur

Life

this is my first blog EVER!!!

Im just wondering why I didn't ever blog before. I always have stuff on my mind that I would love to get out to the rest of the world. and a blog is the best way to do that so yeah thats why im here :D

My life is very confusing right now. Im not really sure what to do about anything. but I know if I let God lead me ill do the right thing....I hope.

today: I went to youth group. It was a bitter sweet thing :P cuz It was are last youth group in that building and they are tearing it down :(. that made me think about how much that one little room has made me change for the better and how many other ppls it had effected too. I was reliving all the youth groups i have been too and all the memorys and friends i have made in that room.

I have been thinking alot about what im gonna do with someone. Idk i just think when ever that thought goes through my head...i know that doesnt make sence. Im worried im gonna lose you and thats the last thing I want to do.

well thats it for today
Peace be with you